image from Mormon Times

Today, The Mormon Times posted a write-up about a recent BYU study which suggests that daughters may benefit from playing video games with parents.

Of course this is great news to dads all over who grew up playing video games (like me).

“The study found that 11- to 16-year-old girls who played age-appropriate games with their parents (mostly dads) exhibited three times better pro-social behavior and about four times less aggression than boys. They also displayed a greater sense of connectivity to family.”

Something that was interesting, however, according to the MT article, was that boys exhibited no measurable difference in behavior when their parents played video games with them. One reason for this could be because boys generally are playing video games more often so the novelty of playing with parents is lessened. Also, the study shows that when girls, especially, played age inappropriate games, they tended to “[show] a decrease in family connectedness.” Since the study also showed that most games boys play tend to be for more mature (M rating) audiences, it could be that boys are automatically disconnected due to the game content.

Girls in the study tended to play games that were more cooperative like Wii Sports or Mario Cart, which have an E rating.

Tonight I think I am gonna break out the Wii Sports for some daddy-daughter time.

John C. writes that Elder McConkie’s talk during the Oct 2010 General Conference about gospel teaching conspicuously omitted the typical admonishment to follow the manual. John takes this as an opportunity to reinforce his ongoing thesis that the manual is unnecessary to gospel teaching.

First, John C.’s argument hinges on the incorrect assumption that absence = less-significant/unimportant. In essence, because the manual was not mentioned, that must mean that it is not important to Sunday School any more.

What complicates this is the fact that the Church does not have translated manuals in as many languages as translated Books of Mormon. Elder McConkie recognizes that not all new teachers have manuals to use. In this regard, Elder McConkie focuses more on those tools and guides that are universal to all teachers, “whether [they] are a recent convert to the Church or a teacher with years of experience.”

Elder McConkie

Each of Elder McConkie’s four principles of gospel teaching are actions that take place outside of the classroom. They are ways in which the instructor can strengthen their own testimonies. That way, regardless of the availability of materials for classroom instruction, the instructor can still feel empowered. For these recent converts in small areas of the Church, there is still their personal testimony which helped them make the decision to join the LDS church and attend the local branch which is so much smaller than the church/mosque/shrine/temple they left behind.

A manual helps new teachers learn and grow in gospel teaching. It also helps prevent discussions which are speculative and not spiritually edifying. But there is a much better way to teach the gospel which Elder McConkie chooses to emphasize so those without manuals will not feel left alone: the spirit or attitude of the teacher.

This leads me to my second point. John C. maintains that Sunday School is unimportant and irrelevant in its current state, since the manual is unnecessary. “Sunday School,” John C. writes, “has stopped mattering.” If Sunday School really has stopped mattering, it is not because our instructors use the manual as a crutch; it is not because instructors are bad teachers even. Elder McConkie quotes one of the greatest stories illustrating the significance of gospel teaching.

“For many years, I have loved the story that President Packer has told about William E. Berrett’s boyhood Sunday School teacher. An elderly Danish brother was called to teach a class of rowdy boys. . . . He didn’t speak the language very well; he still had a heavy Danish brogue; he was much older, with big farm hands. Yet he was to teach these young, rambunctious 15-year-olds. For all intents and purposes, it would not have seemed like a very good match. But Brother Berrett used to say—and this is the part President Packer quotes—that this man somehow taught them; that across all those barriers, across all those limitations, this man reached into the hearts of those rowdy 15-year-old kids and changed their lives. And Brother Berrett’s testimony was ‘We could have warmed our hands by the fire of his faith.’”

Nowhere does this talk about materials or teaching techniques. It is about this good Danish brother who bore testimony so fervently that the  boys’ testimonies were strengthened. As Elder McConkie puts it, gospel learning is not about “how much teaching experience a person has or even the teacher’s knowledge of the gospel or teaching techniques. What matters most is the attitude or spirit by which the teacher teaches.”

Sunday School has never been about content. I recalled another post from BCC earlier this year and when I searched for it I was surprised to find it was also written by John C.–in fact it was a series of three posts. In the post John C. advocates “a close reading” of the scriptures to help revitalize Sunday School lessons. I agree that this is very helpful when trying to learn about the content of the gospel during individual scripture study. Certainly demonstrating English literature style “close readings” in gospel classes can serve a pedagogical function. Members can practice the technique in class so they can use it in their personal study later. Elder McConkie’s talk did not suggest immersion in the scriptures as a pedagogical technique, however. He doesn’t say instructors need to study the scriptures more so they can teach better. Instead, the purpose of regular scripture study is to strengthen the faith of the instructor. Thus, Sunday School is not primarily about gospel study pedagogy. Sunday School is not even primarily about learning about patricular doctrine.  These are secondary objectives at best. Sunday School  is primarily about strengthening testimonies. As soon as Sunday School becomes nothing more than a BYU Bible as Literature class (i.e., close reading) there will be no spirit in the classroom. The emphasis will have shifted from individual faith to the teacher’s skill at directing literary discussion (Elder McConkies’s “teaching techniques”). Again, Sunday School has never been about content.

What has been hurting the second block? Why does it feel like it is filler, as John C. laments? It is our misunderstanding of the primary purpose of Sunday School. It is the erroneous assumption that Sunday School is about content. Sunday School can be an incredibly rewarding experience if the instructor remembers that it is not about what new/fresh content he are she can teach (whether from the manual or the scriptures or the words of the modern prophets). Rather, it is about whether the class members can warm their hands by the fire of the instructor’s faith. Those are the class lessons that “knock our socks off,” as John C.’s mission president put it. These class lessons happen all the time in the church, but not because the instructor has put down the lesson manual; it is because he/she has decided to bear fervent testimony often about the principles being discussed and provided ample opportunity for class members to bear their testimonies in the form of personal experiences about those same principles. Church members don’t come to Sunday School to learn about the gospel. They come to have their testimony strengthened so they can live another week in a world that is hard to live in.

Every wise teacher knows that their students will rarely remember what was taught. What class members will remember, and what stays with them past the closing prayer, is how they felt.

As a father, I don’t care how my childrens’ teachers use the manual or the scriptures. What I want them to do is bear testimony again and again about the principles they are supposed to be teaching. I don’t want my kids coming home and telling me, “Wow, dad, my teacher sure knows the scriptures. He told us about some obscure church history story and it was really interesting.” Who cares if it didn’t strengthen their faith? I want my kids to come home saying, “Wow, dad, my teacher really has a strong testimony. I love her class because I always feel the spirit.”

“Well, we don’t believe all the same things as Jake’s family does. But we have a lot in common,” Mom said. “I always feel safe when you are at Jake’s house because his mom watches you carefully and never lets you play bad video games or watch movies that aren’t good.”

“Yeah,” Alex said, laughing. “Jake’s mom is always watching. We can’t even climb on top of the tree house without her catching us!”

“And who’s the best soccer coach you’ve ever had?” Mom asked.

“Jake’s dad! He takes the time to explain things, and he doesn’t yell at us like some coaches.”

“Yes. He’s a great coach.” Mom parked the car in the driveway and rested her elbows on the steering wheel. “You’re going to have lots of friends who believe differently than we do, Alex. And as you get older, you’ll notice those differences more and more. But the important thing is to pick friends who are kind, friends who are honest, and friends who respect your beliefs just as you respect theirs.”

Alex thought for a moment. “Jake is all those things: kind, honest, and respectful. I’m lucky to have him for a friend.”

Mom nodded. “I think so too.”

I love these ideas. I love how the mother took the time to reassure her son that the issue is not a “member of the Church vs. non-member”–and it shouldn’t be the issue. The key is in her final words: “pick friends who are kind, friends who are honest, and friends who respect your beliefs.” I would also add that part of what made Jake’s family appealing to Alex’ family was that their standards on media, sports etiquette, and physical safety were similar.

She says nothing about membership or non-membership in the Church. The reverse, therefore, can also be inferred: it is better to leave ‘friends’ who are members of the Church, who are not kind, honest, who do not have similar standards, or especially, who do not respect our beliefs.

I am excited for my children to make friends regardless of their religious preference so long as they really  “are kind, honest, have similar standards, and are respectful of others’ beliefs.” I am excited about the future conversations we will have about this principle.

I have been able to watch my son at his preschool for a few weeks now. It has been really a fun treat to see him interact with his peers and the teachers. Observing kids, I guess, is no big deal–I mean, we can do that from the time of Nursery, right?

Well, I watch him from behind one-way mirrors. I can see him but he can’t see me. He doesn’t even know I am watching. Mics are places strategically around the classroom so I can even hear what he is saying, but he can’t hear me.

As I watched him make discoveries and experience triumphs and mistakes, I found myself rooting for him, you know? I wanted him to have a positive experience in whatever he attempted. When he fell, it was a miniature tragedy for me. I wished that I could save him from his embarrassment or pain, but I knew that he needed this time to learn and grow.

A loving father, watching his child grow and learn, but not being able to physically interact with the child. Sound familiar?

Feels a lot like how our Father in Heaven works. The rare occasion He will leave the “observation box” and one of us will actually see Him (e.g., First Vision). Most of the time we have to rely on faith as He watches us unseen. So how does prayer work in this analogy?

image from commons.wikimedia.org

Some observations:

He loves sleep.

He is jittery.

He likes bouncing.

Here are some fun memories of last year:

“This looks like a job for…SUP-er ____!”

Whenever something big or trivial happened that made us say something like, “Oh no!” or “Uh oh…” our son would run into the room, shout this at top of his lungs, spin around a couple of times then say his name. So funny, but really a nice sentiment as well. He is a good kid and I am so proud of him.

Community sports

He enjoyed soccer a lot more than baseball. Too much standing and not enough running in the latter. We have a fun afternoon playing baseball all of us together running bases and everything.

As far as soccer goes, he loves being the goalie and he is really quite good at stopping the ball.

Preschool

We sent him to preschool for the first time this past summer. Hard to have him learn things for the first time in his life without us being there but still very exciting to see him take his first step into a larger world.

Legos in the Morning

He consistantly wakes up between 530 and 630a and we have tried to train him over the past year to not wake us up until “the clock says a seven.” He has done a pretty good job. While some mornings we would wake up before then to the sound of him “quietly” playing legos in the next room, it really is a fond memory. The sound of legos moving and connecting and disconnecting is actually really endearing to me now for this reason.

“It’s okay, Dad, accidents happen.”

He gave his first talk in Primary and it was on forgiving others. I provided a real-life example for his talk when a week or so before we got the assignment I had spilled a large amount of milk on the dinner table. This was his response to my clumsiness and the whole indecent was related in the talk.

Today, as we celebrate the 40th anniversary of Apollo XI, I wanted to pass along a post from Wired.com which deals with Lunar Landing hoax conspiracy theories and debunks them (yes, even our friends at Fox’ 2001 theory).

We did land on the moon.

One of the great events of the 20th century that meant a lot to my own father was the lunar landing. The space race and astronomy was a big thing for him, probably because JFK was  one of his heroes. He built himself a telescope from scratch when he was a teenager. I have fond memories of looking at the moon, the Rings of Saturn, or sunspots, from that same telescope decades after he built it. I can even vaguely remember the hours of reel recordings he showed me of a lunar landing.

Here’s to you, Dad.

photo originally uploaded by flickr user: Brian Knight Photography

Thanks to swiftj for the alert.

 21% of adult Mormons in America have more than three children at home. The next highest religion is the Muslims with 15%, with the national average at 9% (p. 68).

Two words: “Multiply and replenish.”

As a side note, the survey refers to Mormonism under the religious affiliation umbrella “American Christianity” (p. 6). At least one official organization recognizes us as Christians.

This scenario makes me think about the Joseph Smith Manual Lesson 31 and how I can teach the principles in the lesson to my children, so that when they do have hard times, they can “submit cheerfully” and come out of the trial with a greater assurance of things to come.

The verses in which the Lord tells Joseph “thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment, and then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” spell out (to me) one of the most profound principles in our theology. No matter what happens to us, if we are true, we can be fully compensated in the next life.

This is a difficult concept for an adult to fully grasp. What can a child know of it? How can we show our children that even though they are not picked for the team, even though they are teased in class, even though they are disabled, even though they are underprivileged, even though all of these things, these trials can help them become better people? Can they understand that and would it have any meaning?

Is the only thing I can say to my daughter the old proverb: It builds character? “Well, this will help you to be more perfect.”

While the issue of getting glasses may seem a little trivial in eternal discussions, it seems to me that trials are the moments in our lives when our faith either is strengthened or forgotten. We either believe in the promises and they help us through our issues or we give in to self-pity or worse, to self-destructive behaviors. These moments define us. Will we be faithful or will we abandon our faith and follow what the world is telling us?

Will my daughter laugh with her peers and know that she is a powerful individual and important, regardless of what other children may think? Or will she decide that “if people are all this cruel, then being good is not worth it” and finally give in to the world and believe what it teaches her about herself? Will she take the easy step toward self-effacement and unbelief or the harder step toward self-identity and spirituality?

The essential factor here is if the person can feel the Spirit comforting her in her trials and in her triumphs. If we know it is true, I mean, really know, can we ever turn our backs on the gospel? What does this mean for the young man who is not sure about his beliefs? What consolation can we give him?

I understand that Christ has experienced all kinds of heartache, devastation, and loss (Alma 7:11-12). I find real comfort in that knowledge because I believe in the Atonement. But is that really any consolation to someone who may not yet believe in Christ’s power to heal and comfort, someone like a young man or woman who is struggling with his/her own belief system?

This is why it is so important for our children to have their own personal relationship with God before the real storms of life hit. As parents, we can foster a secure environment where their fledgling faith can form and grow strong enough to weather those storms which will undoubtedly come.

image originally uploaded by Ms Constantine

We need more Easter hymns. I love Easter–it is probably my most favorite holiday. Why is it not as big as Christmas–especially in our church, when so much of our faith (temples, eternal families, faith in Christ, etc) hinges on the Resurrection?

I hope when the Church puts out another hymnal it has more Easter hymns–and not the weird ones that are in minor key (why are we singing such mournful songs about such a wonderful day?). That way I will have more songs to teach them about this truly joyful celebration, that literally opened the door to immortality and eternal life.

uploaded to flickr by Benoit

I am bummed about the big Three-oh. For a few years now I have been looking back on my life and wondering how it has gone by so quickly. In many ways, and those who know me might say in all ways, I still feel (act?) like I am 15. I’m still the same shy kid who is learning about himself and the world around him through relatively isolated and disconnected experiences.

In the midst of what could be called the summer of my life, I look around and see the many blessings I really do enjoy. I love my wife and our children. I try my best to overcome my naturally selfish disposition and care for them as I should and as they deserve. I love my friends and family members and count myself blessed for having known them. I am grateful for the testimony I have of the restored gospel and my knowledge that Jesus is the Christ.

I am going to enjoy today and not think about the passage of my life.  I will simply enjoy the life that I have and try not to worry about Time but instead focus on Eternity.

]]> http://mormondad.wordpress.com/2009/04/03/turning-thirty/feed/ 0 Gerrit 30 birthday cake: flickr user: <Benoit> http://mormondad.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/daughters-birthday/ http://mormondad.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/daughters-birthday/#comments Sun, 22 Mar 2009 01:19:44 +0000 Gerrit http://mormondad.wordpress.com/?p=17 ]]> Today is the second anniversary of my daughter’s birth so here are some fun memories over the past year:

“No. No doopy. No want it.”

Her favorite word for a while was “doopy.” She would say it over and over again (doopy, doopy, doopy, doopy, doopy, doopy,etc). Well, I started saying it to get her to start saying a string of doopies (cuz it was so cute). One day she was sitting on the kitchen floor while I was doing the dishes. I said “DOOPY” out loud and this was her response. My little girl is growing up.

Left cheek scar

One day sometime in November of last year she walked out of the playroom with a dark spot on her left cheek. At first we thought she had just written on herself with a dark marker or gotten some dirt on her face…but a few days later the mark was still there. She had a bruise for about a month. Never found out what happened. Mostly confused that something that potentially painful could happen without her crying. Now I can still see the faintest dimple on her cheek which she may have for life.

Jumping on her bottom

For some reason she went through this faze that she would jump up and land on her bum instead of her feet. This made sense if she was on the couch or on her bed but she would do it on the carpet also. I remember the one time she did it on our tile…that did not end well.

Somersaults

Since before she was even born she loved to twirl (my wife said she could feel her flipping over in the womb). Since then, she would love it if we would flip her over onto her feet. Well, since she started talking she would giggle the cutest little giggle then say right away “Do gin” (do again). We would do it again. No sooner was her feet on the ground then she would say, “do GIN!” She just kept wanting it; we finally stopped each time when we got tired of flipping her (hard to do after a while), not when she was done flipping. She loved flipping so much that a few months ago she started doing head somersaults (she used her head and neck to push off of instead of her hands) which made me nervous; fortunately, recently she started doing somersaults with her hands. She loves it.

“I love you, daddy.”

She said this to me for the first time without me saying “I love you” first, just after I put her down for bed one night sometime early summer of last year.

Yesterday my wife took our kids up to Salt Lake during the day where they saw the U on the mountain up there; this morning, my son told me that if I work at the Y, then he works at the U.

Did I mention he loves wearing a RED superman suit?

We’ll work on it.

–BOOM, some bigger kid rushes past him, shoving him over, and slides down the slide without waiting his turn. My son regains his balance with a confused look on his face. Right before he gears up again to slide down, he does it: his confused eyes move from the offensive kid, to the slide…to me.

Looking at his innocent face with the word “Why?” written all over it, I feel a succession of emotions. First, outrage. I immediately look for the kid’s parents. Of course they are not even watching, right? Second, the desire to yell at the kid for being inconsiderate, which of course I never do because that would be “wrong.” Third, absolute pity for my son, who is being punished for not fighting back. Fourth, and this is the worst: helplessness. I want to reassure him that everything is okay, but that is meaningless in the moment.

We need to be peacemakers. This week’s lesson Lesson 29 in the Joseph Smith Manual supports this. I agree but I wonder…when does peacekeeping become surrender? I know we should turn the other cheek (Matt. 5:39). Here’s what I don’t want: my child learning that being a member of the Church means they back down in every discussion and they let people take advantage of them; I don’t want them to develop a low self-image because they learn that everyone else’s views are more important than their’s. We know that low self-esteem and humility are two very different things. The latter leads to greater spiritual strength and testimony; the former leads to depression and hopeless unbelief. How do you help your children see that bullying is not acceptable behavior, but being a doormat is also equally undesirable?

On a global level, recently the Church has been really under the microscope in the media. The Church even wrote a statement about the portrayal of our religion in the media, not to mention the misconceptions that have arisen around Proposition 8 which I commented on here. Watching our  children be abused on the playground is somewhat analogous to watching our faith be disregarded and derided in global discussions and portrayals. How do we, likewise, avoid cyberbullying but similarly not just stand and watch the media and the uninformed walk all over our faith? As Joseph wrote:

“We will … cultivate peace and friendship with all, mind our own business, and come off with flying colors, respected, because, in respecting others, we respect ourselves” (p. 346 in the Joseph Smith Manual).

“If we have joy in the love of God, let us try to give a reason of that joy, which all the world cannot gainsay or resist” (p. 343, my emphasis).

The last quote made me think of the first Epistle of Peter:

“[...] if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience” (1 Pet. 3:14-16, my emphasis).

I know that Peter is writing about severe persecution but the principle is still the same: while we should be respectful to others, we can also be active in voicing our beliefs in a charitable manner.

So what do I tell my son when he is obviously cheated and his good behavior is punished or ignored? Of course I say “it’s okay.” Of course I say “good job” and “way to be nice to them even when they are not nice back.”

What I want to say is “well, they will have to face the consequences”–except my kids never see the consequences so I don’t bother. I want to say “just take the toy from the kid next time,” but of course I don’t want to teach my kids to stoop to their level. I certainly want to shout at the offending child’s parent but of course I don’t. However, what am I modeling when I don’t approach the subject with the offending child’s parent, even in a calm way?

I am modeling how to be a doormat…and I don’t want my kids to learn that.

playground image originally uploaded by plfy

“What’s your favorite coin, Dad?”

“It’s a really big coin, buddy. I like big coins. Do you want to see it? It’s even bigger than a quarter!”

So I got down our coin jar and showed him our 1987 half-dollar. Love those coins. JFK was my dad’s favorite president, so I suppose it has a little sentimental value, but I really just love big coins.

This fun little exchange with my son even reminded me of a time when I was about his age, maybe a little older. I was at someone else’s house and they had a chest with all kinds of coinage. One type of coin was bigger than my hand, twice as thick as a quarter, and seemed to be more of an oval shape (though that could have been memory distortion) and I thought they were so cool. They probably were only about 2″ in diameter but to a little 4 year old they seemed as big as a dinner plate.

While I was showing him the coin (“WOW, that really is BIG, Dad!” “Yeah, they don’t make these anymore, which is a shame.”), he said, “My favorite is the one with the man on it.” He was pointing to a South Korean coin that is worth about 10 cents.

“Oh, you mean this coin?–that’s actually not from America.”

“America?”

“America is the country we live in. This coin comes from another country called Korea. Do you remember missionaries? They wear black tags on their shirts, remember? Well, I used to be a missionary a long time ago–way before you were born. I served in Korea and that’s where I got this money.”

I’m glad that I brought some of the currency back, if only for my son to say they were his favorite. I put the coin jar up on the fridge and he looked up at me then back to his two plastic nickles, “Thanks for giving me pretend money, Dad.”

“Sure, buddy.”

“Is your money real money?”

“That’s right. Both mommy and daddy have real money. And we use it to buy all kinds of things that we want like food and clothing. Someday you will get real money and you will buy things that you want, too.”

“Hey! maybe someday I’ll buy pretend money with my real money!”

That struck me as funny. My first reaction was, “Wow, I seriously traded real money for money that is worthless. That is the silliest thing I have every heard.”

Now looking at the fond memories I created with my son today and the reminders of memories from my childhood, I wonder, which money is more valuable?

Image originally upload by Nebel

“Are we ‘discriminating?’”

The short answer: No.

The long answer: From what I understand (and let me be the first to admit that I am no expert), every benefit afforded married couples is provided for in civil unions–if they are not, they absolutely should be (I would support that legislation without question). The only difference is the religious implications.

It is a great irony that our country was founded on Christian doctrines and beliefs which are largely ignored now. At the time of our country’s founding, marriage as a religious institution was unquestioned; the men and women who helped found this country treated marriage both civilly and religiously simply because it was an axiom. There was no question about Church and State regarding marriage because it was so long a part of Western Culture that of course it would be both. This was in some ways unfortunate. Today we find ourselves facing a conflict based on a culture that is hundreds of years old. Marriage is inherently a religious institution; it was made a civil institution only because of state religions–no one thought it prudent or worthwhile to have both a civil and a religious ceremony to bind a man and a woman together; the state essentially solemnized each simultaneously. This dual ceremony should have ended when marriages were performed outside of a religious sanctuary and/or by an officer of the state rather than a clergyman who had authority to make a marriage sacred and civil. It wasn’t.

When this started happening (i.e., unions civilized by state court officials) the name of the union should have been changed to “civil union,” having “marriage” stay reserved for religious unions. It wasn’t, largely again, because of tradition. Today, the tradition that marriage was both civil and religious is forgotten at best. But it is nonetheless true.

If anyone doubts the dual nature of marriage in the USA, take the relatively new tradition of the “marriage license,” as an example. Even the name itself (license) suggests a legal permission to do a religious act (marriage). When my wife and I were married we were actually unionized twice. We planned to be sealed in the Mormon temple of our choice. We learned that to do so we had to go to the local county seat and pay for a “marriage license.” This was essentially the “civil union,” or the first union. It was not until we completed the sealing ordinance in the temple that we were “married,” the religious sacrament, or second union.

Retaining the right to offer marriage in whatever manner a religion defines it is part of our Bill of Rights protecting religious institutions. If anything, revoking this right is unconstitutional discrimination against religions who practice marriage as a religious ritual.

“Why shouldn’t everyone be able to marry?”

This is a harder question. Instead of basing my answer mostly on tradition and history, I must turn to religious–specifically Christian–doctrine.

The short answer: Marriage is between a man and a woman. So marriage is only valid if it is between a man and a woman.

The long answer: As Christians we believe in the Bible and that God performed essentially the first marriage on this earth between Adam and Eve. That was the standard. It was a religious union of a man and a woman. This pattern was repeated throughout the Old Testament and other ancient scripture like the Book of Mormon. We believe that theologically marriage is between a man and a woman because that was what we were taught directly from our Father in Heaven as recorded in scripture.

“Does this mean we hate gay people?”

The short answer: Of course not!

The long answer: Admittedly there can be found in every population a group of people who do hate another group. This is human nature, unfortunately, but it is not the nature of God. There are plenty of people who certainly hate Mormons. Why is that? It usually stems from misunderstanding or up-bringing. Well, I am raising my children to love everyone; we can all learn from each other. That is not lip service or politically-correctness speaking; I firmly believe that we can all help each other to grow. I hope that civil unions are awarded to everyone who wants one, regardless of sexual preference. I am really upset whenever I hear about anyone who is barred from visiting a loved one in the hospital. This is not right. Regardless of sexuality, some people all across the world maintain a lifestyle that I don’t necessarily agree with or condone (drug dealers, for example) but I would never stand in their way of visiting someone they love or vice versa.

If Prop 8 had said something about dissolving all civil unions between same-sex persons I would have thought it was discriminatory and unconstitutional.

Civil Union is a right; marriage is a rite. In some ways this argument just comes down to nomenclature. As long as churches can continue to perform marriages between a man and a woman, civil unions should perform whatever function in society that the society deems appropriate by popular vote.

Having written these responses I realize that I have probably left something out. Feel free to comment.

I am currently at the Church History Symposium at BYU and have been thoroughly impressed about the need to preserve our personal history. As a son, I am without much historical information regarding my parents because they didn’t keep records. My dad, although an amateur photographer, never kept family photos and if he ever kept a journal I never saw him writing in it.

As a dad in the Church, I really hope that I can impress upon my kids the importance of keeping a record of their life. My sweet wife has tried diligently to keep memory books for them–again, largely because they were never kept for her. My wife and I have tried to keep a journal told from our childrens’ perspectives but that has gotten harder as more come.

I am not a terrific journal keeper. I have tried to be better in the recent past but as we know it gets harder as more kids come into the family to find the time. I also know that that is a lame excuse. I spend plenty of time watching TV or other trivial and let’s face it, ultimately meaningless, activities. It is my hope that this blog becomes another place where my friends and children can come to learn about me and who I was in this life and some of my struggles and thoughts about the Work we are engaged in which I know to be true.